While the Millennial Gentleman is a men’s lifestyle magazine website, occasionally we publish articles with advice for women seeking to date the kind of men who read this magazine. If you are a woman who is wanting to attract a high quality man who is going to marry her and be faithful to her, there is a variety of things you can do to significantly increase your chances and in this article we’ll talk about some of them.

For clarity let’s define by what is meant by “high value man”. This does not necessarily imply a man who is extremely wealth, but it does mean a man of some affluence and who is professionally successful. A high value man is also one who is certain, self-confident, of good health and who has a strong sense of his own value. These are the men who are frequently pursued by women and can therefore be pickier when it comes to dating and relationships.

It is important to understand that the kind of attraction this article is referring to is not about whether a high quality man is willing to sleep with a woman. We are specifically talking about whether he is willing to commit himself to her in the form of marriage and becoming a father to children he has with her. High quality men will, like all men, sleep with women who make themselves available to him but a high quality men has high standards for the kind of woman he gives a ring to.

While there are many articles on the internet that provide advice on what high quality men seek in a woman as a long-term partner, many of these articles are written by women who themselves have never successfully attracted a high quality man. Many of these articles encourage qualities like “independence” or “be confident” and things of that nature; these are qualities that feminist women admire in other women but these are not the kinds of qualities men expressly consider when choosing a woman as a life partner.

In this Millennial Gentleman article I will explain what qualities women can cultivate that high value men desire in a woman.

These are ways a woman can show a high quality man that she is a good match for him.

Be Genuinely Single

Single mothers are not genuinely “single” because their children from another man will always come before the new man in their life. Most men simply do not want the responsibility or pressure to raise another man’s children, and this is particularly true of high value men who are sought after by many women.

While it is not impossible for a single mother to attract a high quality man to marry her, it is significantly more difficult than if she is a single woman with no dependents and baggage from a prior relationship. If possible try to avoid having children out of wedlock with a man who is not the kind you want to spend the rest of your life with if your goal is to settle down with a high value man.

Don’t Have Tattoos, Strange Piercings or Weird Dyed Hair

It’s one thing to have maybe a small ankle tattoo, but it’s another when large sections of your skin are covered in tattoos. Art is very subjective and by tattooing yourself you are significantly reducing the pool of men that will find you attractive simply because you are now restricting yourself to the group of men who will share your enthusiasm for the artwork they now must look at for the rest of their life. Personally speaking, I can’t take a woman seriously if she tattoos significant parts of her body with artwork I dislike and I couldn’t see myself having to look at this artwork for the rest of my life on my partner. I personally do not have any tattoos and generally advise men to not get them either for a similar reason. While many women like the bad boy look, most high quality women won’t marry a heavily tattooed man.

Similarly with weird piercings, especially gauges, most men don’t find women with enormous holes in their earlobes to be attractive, nor do they want to kiss the lips of women who have literal needles in their mouth.

Most men also don’t want to marry women who have eccentric hair dye colors, like the oddly commonplace baby poop green, vomit orange and other highly unnatural hair colors currently in vogue among hipsters. Traditionally masculine men are most attracted to traditionally feminine women. If you would not be attracted to a man with orange or baby poop green dyed hair, why would you expect a man to find that attractive on a woman?

Avoid Having Debts

When a man marries a woman, any debts she has he will become legally responsible for. Credit companies will also consider any debts his wife has accumulated, even before marriage, and reflect it against his credit score. Consequently it is a terrible idea to accumulate large amounts of debt you cannot repay if you want to attract a high quality man as a husband.

Be Politically Moderate or Conservative

The reality is that the vast majority of high quality men do not believe in things that far left Progressives do; they don’t believe in the pseudo-science of gender identity theories, they don’t endorse radical feminism and they don’t support groups like Antifa or Black Lives Matter.

High quality men are defined as high quality because they have traditional cultural values which make them ideal husbands and fathers. They are traditionally masculine and expect their wives to be traditionally feminine. You significantly reduce your chances of attracting a high quality man as a husband if your politics are against his.

Be of Sound Mind and Temperament in Personality

High value men are pursued by many women and find it easy to meet and engage with women. This means he has no shortage of potential women he can date and pursue romantically. High value men also tend to have a lot of preoccupation in their work, as they tend to be successful in their careers because of a strong focus on them. This means a gentleman’s leisure time is meant to be just that, and he often will not have much room in his life for overly complicated situations and unnecessary drama. As such, contrary to what may be seen in television shows and movies, high value men do not have much patience for women who are obnoxious, loud-mouthed, who nag and heckle and otherwise exhibit poor control over their emotions.

High value men are attracted to women who are confident in themselves and their own worth. This doesn’t mean being arrogant or conceited, but rather, having a healthy level of self-esteem and self-worth. Truly confident people do not need to be arrogant or conceited, as they know their worth regardless of what others may think of them.

Likewise, high value men tend to disapprove of women who cannot control themselves at dinner and overindulge in wine, beer or other liquor. Binge drinking has of late become popular among women to the point many women in their 20s are now becoming alcoholics, and this will turn off most high quality men from viewing the woman as a long term partner. This is not to say that becoming sober is necessarily the solution either, as a sober woman also implies she still has difficulty controlling herself. It is best to learn to moderately consume alcohol and not to race to the bottom of the wine bottle at every opportunity.

Lastly, high value men are attracted to women who are positive and optimistic. They don’t want to be with someone who is constantly negative or pessimistic. Instead, they want a woman who brings joy and positivity to their lives.

Be Healthy and Develop a Feminine Appearance

In the same way that men must maintain their health and cultivate a masculine appearance with good hygiene, maintaining a professional haircut and wearing appropriate clothing so too much a woman seeking to attract a high quality man also maintain an appropriate bodyweight and dress in a feminine style. A traditionally masculine man is most attracted to a traditionally feminine woman.

As can be learned from the style guide articles on our website there is a lot of detail that goes into a high quality man dressing with class and elegance. Likewise women have their own fashion tips and techniques, their own style of dress and wardrobe choices which compliment a gentleman’s own endeavors. If you wish to be the long term partner to such a man then you as a woman need to also dress appropriately too.

Develop Traditionally Feminine Skillsets

Just as there are traditionally masculine skills which many women expect a man to possess, such as the ability to make household repairs and home improvements, perform basic maintenance on cars, outdoorsman skills and even be able to fight in self-defense, there are skills that a traditionally masculine man expects his future wife and mother of his children to possess. These skills are cooking, cleaning, sewing and other kinds of skills that aid in a woman’s ability to manage a household. While it may seem old fashioned it is still always better to eat well made home cooked meals and it is necessary to maintain a clean house so as to not get sick or attract unwanted pests. The ability to sew and repair clothing greatly extends the life of clothing, which cuts down on needing to buy new clothing. These are all skills still in demand for a wife and mother, and women who lack these skills will often not be perceived by high quality men as desirable as a wife.

Be Supportive

High value men want a partner who complements them and who they can see themselves building a life with. To attract a high value man a woman needs to show him that she is a good match for him and that they have a shared vision for the future.

A wife’s role in the relationship to a man is to be his support. As such it is the role of a woman in a relationship to be supportive of her husband. There are some women today who believe that they should never need to be supportive of their boyfriends or husbands, and that the man should be self-sufficient and always independent of her, but men have no need to form long term commitments with women if they can do everything in life alone. Men and women are biologically meant to support one another, and this is no different in modern relationships.

Women support a man by taking care of the household so that when he returns from work he does not have yet more work to do and is therefore always working with no rest. A high value man wants a partner who is supportive of his goals and ambitions. A woman can show him that she is on his team and wants him to succeed by not only voicing this support but taking meaningful actions to provide this support.

Allow Herself to Be Caught

One of the worst things some modern women do in dating is try to keep the door open for another man after she has already successfully attracted one high value man to want to marry her. There are bad relationship advice consultants who tell women that if the relationship is not 100% perfect and that anything makes them even the tiniest bit bored or unhappy then the entire relationship should be discarded in favor of a new prospect who they convince themselves they may be happier with. The problem with this mentality is that no relationship is without any struggles or some occasional personality conflicts. It is also unrealistic that a man must constantly entertain a woman to keep her bored or fear losing her. That is not a good relationship dynamic to cultivate, and will inevitably result in frustration when the impossible is not obtained.

What matters most is finding someone who can provide a good, balanced and happy life as a partner and whom you can have a family with to raise children that are healthy, intelligent and emotionally well balanced. While it is important to not be bored with the dullness of life, it is better to have long term stability than it is to have the chaos of the unknown. Once a woman finds a high quality man that wants to settle down with her she should permit herself to be ‘caught’ instead of trying to keep the door open hoping she can find some hypothetical man who might be ‘better’. Otherwise she may lose the interests of the good man and end up with no man at all.

Live in an Area Where High Quality Men Can Be Found

The reality is that some places, such as very rural areas, there may not be many opportunities for dating a high quality man as in other more metropolitan areas. This is not to say that no high quality men live in the countryside but rather those men are most likely already taken. Successful dating means having access to a large pool of people to date and the reality is if you are not in a place that has a thriving nightlife then your chances of meeting a high quality man is lower than in a place like Los Angeles, California or New York City where young successful men must live to be part of the industries that have the jobs they work in.


Remember, attracting a high value man is largely about showing him that you are a good match for him and that you have a shared vision for the future. If you do these things, you will naturally attract a high value man who is right for you.


Carey Martell is Editor in Chief for The Millennial Gentleman. A thirty something modern man who is politically independent, non-religious but a firm believer in ideals of chivalry and traditional family values. Carey lives his life as a vagabond digital nomad traveling and living life to the fullest while managing his businesses remotely with a laptop and internet hotspot connection.