Every day you may see numerous beautiful females, but do they pay attention to you? Do you have the kind of appearance that beautiful women like? Many men think that if you are not tall, do not have a muscular body or a handsome masculine face then females will never be attracted to you. They believe if a man is not born with these qualities then there is nothing a man can do to become more attractive to women.

In reality all kinds of men are able to attract all kinds of women. While many women generally have a preference for certain attributes such as tallness and a good square chin, you can still attract these women without having these qualities they may claim are ‘necessary’. The difference is all about how to present yourself so that you look the best you can be.

Consider this; almost everyone wants to live in a big huge mansion and own luxury products, cars and other things. Anyone would get these things if they could. Yet not everyone can gain these things because many people lack the necessary wealth to obtain them. So what do they do? They settle for the best they can get. If the pecking order of what couples end up together is determined by how attractive the individuals are that means people who are 3s and 4s will need to date other people who are 3s and 4s, too. So if you are naturally not a great looking man then your goal is to add a few more points of attractiveness to boost yourself up the scale as high as you can go, so that you can attract a woman who herself may not be the most attractive woman as well. Women eventually learn that while very attractive men will sleep with women who are a great deal less attractive than they are, these men will often not stay committed to her because they can attract more beautiful, younger women. The reality is there are fewer gentlemen in society today. So a woman who is not the most gorgeous will inevitably need to settle for a man who is similar to her own level of attractiveness, and will select the best man she can find among that category.

While that can be labeled as having a so-called ‘settling’ mindset and many men do not want to ‘settle’ for women who are not the most beautiful creatures on the planet, the reality is that having great beauty often correlates to a spoiled personality and beauty can only make a person’s bad personality qualities tolerable for awhile. The most key thing in a relationship is to find an attractive enough woman who has good personality qualities that will make her a good wife and mother. A man should try to get the most beautiful woman he can attract who has these qualities, and settle down with her to have a family. He’ll be much happier in the long run doing so than living his life alone and unloved, with less purpose.

Don’t allow your mind to go to dark places and fall into the incel trap mindset of, “I’m naturally ugly therefore there is nothing I can do about it. I’ll never be able to attract a beautiful woman.” Sure, while you can always control many aspects of your appearance you may not be able to control if you are naturally good looking or if you have other physical defects, but you can always lose weight if you are fat and that will make you more attractive. And just as many women wear makeup and put on clothing that accentuates their figures to increase their attractiveness, you as a man can also dress better and groom yourself better to improve your appearance, too. So don’t fall into the belief that you can’t do anything to improve your attraction; you can, no matter who you are. Hell, some men clean up rather nicely when they actually put the effort into it.

How Can a Man Become More Attractive to a Woman? 

For a woman a man’s handsomeness is only one of the primary factors, and a perception of handsomeness can be changed. The main thing here is that you like yourself. Even if you aren’t naturally good looking if you take care of yourself and are well groomed (hairstyle, shaved face or beard, clean and fresh complexion) then your attraction is amplified compared to if you did not take care of yourself. Taking care of one’s appearance is important; it is the most direct way of telling a woman that you are a mature man who cares about himself. If you cannot take care of your own body how is she to believe you will take care of your children, or even her?

Women generally understand these things on a subconscious level, that a man who puts effort into his appearance may not necessarily be the most attractive but his efforts make him stand out. Cleanliness and health will always play a significant role in whether a man is worth dating. So even if you don’t have a jaw line that could cut a mountain, if you’re well groomed and in good health then that will give you more confidence, which makes you more desirable and attractive to a woman.

How to Become More Attractive to Women: Step 1

Improve Your Body

It is pointless to deny athletic men get attention from women the easiest; athletic ability is an indicator of health and women are instinctively attracted to a fit, muscular man. A strong arms, shoulders and legs. You may not be able to change your height but you can maximize your muscle potential, develop a strong body that can be the envy of even other men. Tallness doesn’t necessarily improve sexual performance the same way that strong muscles will, so ultimately a woman prefers to wrap her arms around a shorter muscular man than a skinny tall one.

Be honest; based purely on appearances which man in this picture would you rather be? The man you pick is probably going to be the same man that the majority of women would prefer to be with.

This stuff really is not that complicated.

Do keep in mind there is variance; some women have fetishes that lead them to develop a kink toward different types of bodies, so you do not have to be a muscular man; it just definitely will increase your attractiveness to a woman. While there are certainly some women who are attracted to obese men, almost no woman is not attracted to a muscular man. So the main point is that you should take care of yourself to improve your attractiveness the most direct and effective way. 

If you’re not naturally athletic then you’ll have to put in the work that you didn’t put in when you were a teenager, and learn how to develop athleticism. Although many men have a natural tendency for athleticism, all men can learn to be athletic; even with disabilities, there are ways. There are people with bad spines in wheelchairs who do fencing and play basketball; if your legs work then you should be able to improve your athleticism easier than these men did. One of the most famous of US Presidents, Theodore Roosevelt, was born very sickly and nearly died as a child yet he worked hard to overcome his asthma and became one of the most athletic Presidents and the best known adventurer among them. If Teddy could do it so can you.

So if you don’t normally love sports or any kind of physically active recreation, you’ll need to figure out what is best for you by experimenting and trying things out. At least once a week go to the gym, stretch your body and lift some weights. Consider hiring a personal trainer to teach you how to work out properly, if you feel you need someone to help you be motivated. If you do not like the gym then try swimming in a pool or a lake during the summer. You can also ride a bike or run for half an hour, or even take long walks through the woods or the city for an hour or two. You do not have to do extreme sports or recreation, like skydiving or kayaking on a mountain river. Keep in mind that all this will increase your tone; you will be less sick and enjoy life.

If you are very overweight, like 50 or more pounds, then you need to diet. Dieting is not as hard nor as complicated as many make it out to be. All one needs to do is cut calories from their diet and they will lose weight. You will of course feel hungry while cutting calories because hunger is the bodies natural response to being calorie deprived, yet you must be calorie deprived in order for your body to transform fat into energy. So hunger is good; hunger is your friend when you need to lose a lot of weight.

I guarantee you that if you simply eat one footlong Turkey submarine sandwich from Subway a day, with only vegetables and no sauces, then you will lose weight even if you do not work out. Despite all of the many myths out there in the diet fad world about how you have to lose weight slowly or you will lose muscle mass the truth is that you won’t lose tons of muscle mass, go crazy or have other weird health problems just because you lose weight quickly; all of that is a bunch of nonsense cooked up by people trying to sell fad diets. All overweight men who enlist into the military experience rapid weight loss during boot camp due to the calorie deficient these men experience during training from working out most of the day. Losing 10 lbs or more per week is normal if you are obese.

ou do not need a complicated diet or any special foods to lose weight. Eat one submarine sandwich a day with turkey, cheese and no dressings or oils. Pack on low calorie veggies such as  lettuce, tomatoes, black olives, and cucumbers to fill your belly.  

Cut out all sodas, coffees, juices and alcoholic drinks from your diet and only drink water. You will be guaranteed to lose pounds a week if you eat this and jog at least 30 minutes a day.
Cut out all sodas, coffees, juices and alcoholic drinks from your diet and only drink water. You will be guaranteed to lose pounds a week if you eat this and jog at least 30 minutes a day.
You do not need a complicated diet or any special foods to lose weight. Eat one footlong submarine sandwich a day with turkey, cheese and no dressings or oils. Pack on low calorie veggies such as lettuce, tomatoes, black olives, and cucumbers to fill your belly.

Cut out all sodas, coffees, juices and alcoholic drinks from your diet and only drink water. You will be guaranteed to lose pounds a week if you eat this and jog at least 30 minutes a day.

All you need to do is eat one sandwich a day and you’ll lose pounds every week. Then once you have reached your weight goal you can resume eating other foods, and all you have to do is keep an active lifestyle where you work out for at least an hour a day, and don’t eat more than 3,000 calories a day. You won’t get fat again if you do this.

This is really all there is to dieting down to a healthy weight and keeping yourself from regaining that weight.

Working out also has the benefit of helping you learn to improve your posture by strengthening the muscles of the back and shoulders. Standing correctly instead of slouching will greatly help increase your attractiveness.

How to Become More Attractive to Women: Step 2

Plus Your Appearance 

improve your appearance and wear a nice suit on a date to impress a woman

A man’s appearance is instantly judged by a woman. What you wear from your haircut to your shoes is scanned by her and ranked according to whether your outfit conforms to conventional standards of handsomeness. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you must always wear a business suit, as there are many women who are excited by bad boys who wear torn jeans and leather biker jackets; yet there are almost no women who get weak in the knees for a grown man who wears sweatpants and a Spider-Man t-shirt.

So when we talk about plussing your appearance by what you wear we are not necessarily talking about expensive suits or branded items; although these can help. Neatness is essential to handsomeness, and the right selection of even just good staple clean solid color t-shirts and fashionable jeans that fit your figure will greatly improve your attractiveness. You should also wear high-quality shoes, and fresh good smelling cologne.

For some specific advice on dressing better, read the articles we have published in the Fashion category. Click here to read them.

While women might declare that a man is bold and daring for doing so, most women do not wish to be seen as the date of a man with too unusual of a haircut. As a general rule men with neat and short-haircuts engender the most trust naturally; this is what defines a man as ‘clean cut’. It should go without saying that a man’s hair must be also be clean and free of dandruff to be considered ‘clean cut’, so if you have a dandruff issue then we suggest making a small investment into some Head and Shoulders shampoo.

Women, for the most part, are more predisposed to cleanliness than men are. Therefore before going on a date it is a good idea to stop in front of the mirror to take a look at yourself and ensure you are looking your best. It does not mean that you have to go on dates in a formal men’s suit (unless there is a dress code for that at the restaurant you will be dining at) but you have to look neat and presentable. You should be wearing clean shoes, ironed shirts and well-groomed hair. Sloppy men are usually repulsive to fashion conscious ladies and no matter how fun, interesting or well-educated you are, it will be extremely difficult to charm a girl like this so well that you can ignore basic standards of hygiene rules and still woo her into sharing a bed with you.

 Appearance is very important when you are trying to attract women. Few self-respecting females want to date a guy who smells bad or who dresses terribly. You should wear clothing that will emphasize your figure and show that you take care of yourself; this means clothes that fit well.

To conclude, let’s summarize the main points here again; in order to increase your physical attractiveness by plussing yourself with fashion you should make sure that:

  • You wear fresh, ironed clothes.
  • You clean your shoes.
  • You have a neat haircut
  • You have a clean-shaven face (or groomed beard).
  • You clipped your nails.

How to Become More Attractive to Women: Step 3

Develop Social Graces; Learn the Proper Manners and Behavior Expected of a Gentleman

Despite what the movies have you believe shyness rarely is a quality women find very attractive. If you like a girl do not be afraid to take the initiative; tell her that you think she is pretty and would like to get to know her better. Girls appreciate sincere, confident men. Despite what is often said today about dating by bad sources of dating advice on other blogs, a lot of women like it when men make the first step; for many women if a man never approaches them in public she never gets a date anyway, as not all women are using dating apps. Women get just as fed up as men do with the impersonal nature of modern device based socialization and many women expressly go to bars to meet men who will approach them the more old fashioned way.

Modesty, restraint, respect for yourself and others – all these are qualities of good manners and signs of a well-bred person. Sadly these behaviors are rarely taught in schools today to children and so many men grow up without having learned them, but a true gentleman must adhere to several basic etiquette rules under all circumstances. So if you were not taught them you must teach yourself.

When you approach a woman you have seen and would like to meet, follow a few simple rules:

  1.  Be confident; don’t stumble over your words or act bashful, yet do not be so confident that you come across as arrogant.
  2.  If the girl doesn’t say more than a few words back to you for every two sentences you say, you are not being reciprocated by her. She is giving you a social clue that she is disinterested. you should respect that decision and move on to another.
A woman who is gaining attraction to you will smile as she talks to you. If you don't see this, she is not engaging with you.
A woman who is gaining attraction to you will smile as she talks to you. If you don’t see this, she is not engaging with you.

It isn’t very sensible to believe that you can win a girl over just by having a decent appearance and presenting your stylish self before her, as if you were a peacock. Your first impression also depends on how interesting you are as a conversation partner to her. If you currently have no natural talent for holding a casual conversation with a pretty girl, fret not for this skill can be learned. Here are some helpful tips on how to improve your conversational skills and be more charming.

It is harder to start a conversation if you do not know much about the girl, so do not expect to say anything too deep or witty. When you introduce yourself to a woman you should smile and pay a sincere compliment, such as telling her that she is looking well. It does not have to be anything too fancy or clever; your level of passion for a woman should not be more than what she is showing you. So suddenly showing up out of the blue and saying a canned pickup line probably won’t work as well as it does in the movies; it’s better to work your jokes and compliments into the conversation you have with her in a more organic way.

If you are going to pay the woman a complement during your conversation then this has its own rules to follow,

  1. It must be sincere.
  2. It should be short and straightforward.
  3. It should take into account the individuality of the person.
  4. Without exaggeration.
  5. Does not contain irony nor intended to be a joke.

For example, note that you like her hairstyle or a pair of beautiful earrings; you can compliment her by saying these speak to her good sense of fashion tastes.

Often young men complain that they do not know what topics to talk about to interest a woman. Neutral topics for first dates could be discussing some events in the city, music artists you mutually like or movies you’ve recently seen. You should ask her opinion on these matters, telling her you’d like to get to know her better. If you want to talk about your achievements you should mention them casually in an organic way into the conversation, such as when she asks what you do for a living. If you overdo your bragging or are too eager to tell her your achievements then you run the risk of sounding like a narcissistic person. Do not forget to show interest in your partner; you’re trying to get her to talk to you and therefore be making investments of her time and energy into you. A woman who invests into a man and is gauging him as a life partner often becomes more attracted to him the more that she spends time and energy speaking to him. So if you speak the entire time you are interacting, she cannot make these investments and so her level of attraction will not increase.

This is part of the craft of conversation; an etiquette that is especially in demand today as so many people have not properly cultivated it after having grown so dependent on technological devices like cellphones for written communication. There are fewer gentlemen these days as many men have not learned how to be one; this gives you an advantage in the dating arena as it means you will have less competitors as even among the most physically attractive men in your local area, many of them have bad personalities that turn women off. So for those of us who follow the rules of etiquette we gain a clear advantage;. women pay a great deal of attention to how a man talks to strangers, the cafe staff, and even the taxi driver. Excellent tact and good manners make a man more attractive in the eyes of almost all women.

Proper Gentlemanly Etiquette Toward Women

Women welcome chivalrous behaviors from men they are attracted to.
Women welcome chivalrous behaviors from men they are attracted to.

Another thing that will benefit you is to practice opening doors for a woman. When a man voluntarily and without prompting opens the door to a lady, she notices this. While in past days it was common for men to open even the doors of cars for a woman, many women prefer to open their own car doors now. Yet women will still notice when men wait to sit down in their own car seat until the lady has seated herself first, and generally they view this positively. You may not be able to control whether she allows you to open a door for her or push in her chair, but you can control whether you allow herself to be seated before you.

On the same note when attending a party it is commonly viewed as good etiquette to allow the women and children to serve themselves from the table of food first, and for the men to line up after. While some cultures are different and insist that men eat first, in polite southern society it is often the women who do the cooking and so a practice started with allowing women to eat first before the men did.

Traditionally men have paid the tab on dates for the woman. This is often misunderstood today as being chauvinistic, and trying to suggest that women are unable to pay for a dinner; in actuality the etiquette has always been that the person who invites someone out for dinner will pay the tab for that dinner. This comes from the practice of nobles hosting other nobles at their estates for dinner, with the full expense of the dinner handled by those inviting the others. This practice then extended to restaurants as dinners moved to be hosted at these eating establishments instead of estates. So the practice of a man paying for dinner is because it is the man who usually asks the woman out for dinner.

Although most women are unfamiliar with the history behind this custom, many women do understand that a man treating her to a meal is a noble gesture even if she does not know why. So by paying the bill for both of you to dine out, you as a man demonstrate that you have resources (money) to be a good provider for a family, as well as that you conform to traditional societal expectations of what good gentlemanly behavior and etiquette is. This often matters to a woman because it is the kind of man her parents want her to have, and choosing a man like this will please her parents. While not all women have healthy relationships with their parents, all worthwhile women do want to demonstrate to their parents they have been successful in life; finding a quality life partner is one such mark of success. So a woman is often eager to introduce a gentleman to her parents in order to show she has gained this success.

Final Thoughts on Becoming More Attractive to Women

A man should also work on improving his own personal life. Not everything you do should be centered around trying to attract women. There are many things you do for yourself and your own happiness that will indirectly make you more attractive to women.

For example,

  • If you develop good friendships with others then this will indicate your ability to build healthy relationships to a woman.
  • If you like to play the guitar or are fond of drawing, or some other artistic talent, this can make you interesting; and being interesting is attractive to many women.

You should think about all of the things about yourself that makes you an extraordinary person and work to showcase those talents in your day to day life. I am sure there are many qualities that you can be proud of and which can make you more attractive to women once you have plussed yourself a’bit by working out, dressing better and developing some social graces.


Carey Martell is Editor in Chief for The Millennial Gentleman. A thirty something modern man who is politically independent, non-religious but a firm believer in ideals of chivalry and traditional family values. Carey lives his life as a vagabond digital nomad traveling and living life to the fullest while managing his businesses remotely with a laptop and internet hotspot connection.