The world we live in is changing with every passing day and not always for the better. When you visit the MGTOW website you will see similar words to these. You will then see a video that looks like an action-movie trailer and is then followed by five fiery red screen smashing words; Men going their own way.
If this was your first time visiting that website you might assume that MGTOW is a small movement that isn’t causing any major difference in society or influencing many young men in how they live their lives. But the truth is the MGTOW movement has gained a great deal of influence, and some of the most popular men’s lifestyle blogs today are devoted to the subject. We here at The Millennial Gentleman are not one of these blogs; we advocate for a more traditional outlook on relationships between men and women. Yet it is worth discussing what this movement is because it is relevant to the purpose in why our website was created.
What is MGTOW?
MGTOW is an online community made up of misogynists, former simps, and anti-feminists that advise men to stay away from women and societies full of feminism. MGTOW is also sometimes called the Red Pill movement of the beta males, though ‘Red pill’ can be confused as ‘Red pill’ was originally used by the pickup artist community which is an entirely separate subculture than MGTOW. The two different communities are typically confused by writers at traditional media publications though (perhaps even intentionally). Although both communities will use the term ‘red pill’ to refer to converts of their viewpoints, pickup artists and MGTOW are not compatible ideologies. If anything they are polar opposites as PUA men seek to date women and MGTOW seek to live without dating at all.
The growing popularity of MGTOW is a consequence of the rise of discrimination against heterosexual norms of masculinity that has occurred in popular media due to the spread of third wave feminist ideologies. This form of feminism has become influential on younger generations of Westerners, predominantly women but many other men as well, as a consequence of this ideology spread in many liberal arts programs on American campuses.
MGTOW is also a consequence of the growing trend of hypergamy among certain groups of young women in their 20s and 30s, which we here at The Millennial Gentleman have termed a ‘Tinderella‘. Due to the ease at which dating apps allow women to meet new potential romantic partners and bad parenting, many young women tend to refuse to date men who are not on the highest end of the spectrum of good looks, even if these women are themselves not at the highest end of the spectrum. Men who average in terms of success and looks are often intentionally mistreated by these women, who may form a relationship with one of these men because he is the only one that will act as a provider to her and her children (many of these women are single mothers) while simultaneously cheating on him with other men. As these kinds of women have become very commonly encountered it has resulted in a growing population of disgruntled men; many of whom find the only women they encounter on dating sites are these Tinderella types. This has resulted in many men believing that all women are exploiters and manipulators. The MGTOW ideologies are shaped from these bad relationship experiences.
It is not clear where MGTOW came from, but it emerged during the early 2000s. The first blog to bring up the ideology of what is MGTOW and publish the ‘MGTOW manifesto’ was the No Ma’am blog. The MGTOW communities developed among men that concluded that feminism has destroyed Western society to where most men cannot succeed anymore. Men in MGTOW gather in various social media platforms to create communities like the r/MGTOW and the MGTOW forum. Reddit eventually banned the group in January 2020, r/MGTOW which only served to drive more men off the platform and to the main forums on the MGTOW website.
Even among the sprawling web of cults, lifestyles, and groups, MGTOW views are very unorthodox. The community is misogynistic, adopting the viewpoint that the psychological differences of women are so great that men are better off without dating and marriage. While there are valid criticisms to be had about particular types of women (we’ve previously written an article where we criticize what we term the Tinderella, a common kind of woman encountered on dating apps) MGTOW men take the very extreme stance that all women are toxic narcissists who take advantage of men.
MGTOW operates on the philosophy that the modern man should protect and preserve his sovereignty above all else, and they wholly reject all feminism ideas.
How popular is MGTOW?
MGTOW is not a small group. The main site has forums where men discuss various issues, mostly advice on how to divorce and discussions about news articles related to social issues. There are also many YouTube video channels producing media, many that have more than 730,000 followers.
Who makes up the membership of MGTOW?
While most manosphere groups allow women to join such movements, MGTOW does not allow them to join. The MGTOW community mostly consists of middle-class heterosexual men from Europe and North America.
There are MGTOW men who do admit to having one night stands, have platonic relationships with women, and some who also visit sex workers. However most of the members claim that they prefer to abstain from sex- a process they call ‘going monk.’ For some members of this ideology the abstinence is a consequence of not trying to date and living a life that is largely insular, working a desk job such as a computer programmer and then going home to spend large amounts of their time online. None of the men who are part of the MGTOW movement are men where women are frequently hitting on them, so it is safe to assume the majority of the members are not men that would be considered, as they put it, a “Chad”.
Many journalists in the mainstream media stereotype members of the MGTOW movement as obese, lazy and stupid men who spend all of their time online trolling women on Twitter; in reality there are many different types of men who are falling into this philosophy as a consequence of their frustrations with the breakdown of traditional cultural values in society and how this influences women (and even other men) to mistreat that individual man.
Is MGTOW Really What These Men Want?
As the men who make up the movement are not asexual but are self-described heterosexuals who are attracted to women, the reality is that many MGTOW members would marry a good woman if they could. There are of course some men within the MGTOW movement who are rather unbalanced and do have a unnecessary hatred toward all women but it’s important to understand there are many men within the movement who fell into this crowd because they were hurting from the aftermath of a failed relationship and seeking advice on how to get over a breakup, and discovered MGTOW material. It would be correct to say that MGTOW consists of men who have all been psychologically harmed by a relationship with at least one woman and have adopted this lifestyle and ideologies as a means of trying to regain confidence and overcome the pain.
Many men within the movement tend to have awkward social skills, finding it difficult to navigate life as a man and succeed. They usually struggle to gain respect from the women in their lives as a consequence of not conforming to ideas of masculinity and have adopted the belief it is impossible for them to raise themselves to a higher standard. This often leads to the men spending a very large amount of their social time online, which is not necessarily the healthiest environment for men nor even the best solution for how to improve themselves. While being online allows a person to communicate with other people, humans socialize online very differently than they do in person. So these men spend their time not developing the kinds of social skills that would better help their situation because they are avoiding situations they struggle at.
Many of the articles we write here at The Millennial Gentleman are designed to educate men who lack this kind of necessary knowledge about social etiquettes; men within the MGTOW movement are the kinds of men who would be most benefited by reading our blog.
Why so many men find MGTOW appealing
MGTOW is primarily appealing because it is tribal. A review of MGTOW literature, especially its main website, reveals a rather cartoonish perspective of male achievement and relationship realities. Objectively reading its literature and applying even a tiny amount of scrutiny to its claims finds numerous faults within it. It relies heavily on half-truths and anecdotal experiences to justify its claims, and is not written by men who have achieved much success with dating and fewer who have achieved much success in other aspects of their lives. The most successful members of the community are those who write articles and produce videos for other members of the MGTOW, which means the most achievements they have obtained were gained in a parasitic fashion from other members of the MGTOW community.
Worst, because all members of the MGTOW movement are men that are in fact naturally inclined to want to date women and who failed at these relationships, the encouragement of men to stop trying to succeed at dating and to instead give up can be viewed as defeatist. It is a very pessimistic outlook on life that assumes it is impossible for a man to find a healthy relationship with a woman and obtain the traditional ‘American dream’ family life. This is not a healthy perspective on relationships, nor even good for a man’s own self-confidence. While the impact of third wave feminism on society has been negative and it is certainly more difficult to find a woman who does not embrace these negative ideas than it was in the past, the truth is that there are still many men who have successful, happy marriages. To have these positive relationships the man had to do as all his fathers did before him; plus himself to be able to attract a quality woman. The reason there are fewer men who understand this is because the rise of divorce and absentee fathers post-1970s counter-culture societal breakdowns has made it more difficult for men to have these values, as many of their fathers expressly rejected these traditional values and did not teach them to their own kids. This has resulted in several generations of men tuning out and not passing down the values their own fathers had taught them. It’s not because traditional masculine qualities are no longer attractive to women.
Rather it is that many men do not practice traditional masculinity anymore nor take pride in even so much as their own appearance. They then become frustrated when they are rejected by quality women who still desire these traditional values, and cannot see them in a man who wears a football jersey and sweatpants to a first date at Hooters.
Let’s be honest guys; the majority of men these days do not even own a suit. The majority of men these days dress like they did as children, with the majority of their wardrobe consisting of t-shirts that sport some kind of cartoon character on them.
Contrast this to women, who as a population overwhelmingly still dress up and spend substantial amounts of money on grooming products — and time spent grooming themselves to look their best every day. Yet the vast majority of men today do not groom themselves beyond a haircut– and then they wonder why the so-called “Chad” gets all the attention.
The “Chad” gets the attention because he is doing the things you are not willing to do. Which are the same things your ancestors did to attract women. The particulars may change (such as what is fashionable) but the fundamentals do not.
Why MGTOW Inevitably Will Make a Man Miserable
Here is the truth; any man can be a “Chad”. All you have to do is workout, groom yourself and dress better. Some men put the effort into building up their bodies and learning these skills at an earlier age than other men did, and they reaped the reward for doing so in their 20s. If you’re late to the game it is time to catch up. The Millennial Gentleman has many articles written to show you how to do these things. You should read them. It’s the only way you’re actually going to get the life you really want to have.
The MGTOW lifestyle will not go the way that many men think it will. Unmarried, childless men end up as the most miserable men in the world around their 60s. This is because when a man with no family of his own starts having health problems he ends up being forced into care homes, where he typically is abused by incompetent nurse staff and the other miserable patients he is forced to share a room with. His possessions and wealth is stolen by attorneys and distant relatives who gain power of attorney over him, often after he has suffered even a mild stroke.
Being unmarried and childless is the most stupidest way for a man to live. This path guarantees you will be miserable for the final decades of your life as soon as you have one major health issue that will allow some stranger to gain power of attorney over you. If you actually want to be taken care of in your old age then you need to put in the work in your youth to build a positive, healthy relationship with a woman you can grow old with, and whom you can raise children with. Children that will love you and prevent others from taking advantage of you both as you age.
So if you’d like to spend your final decades in an adult day care center instead of the privacy of your own home, go ahead and try “going your own way”. All routes will end up here. The only route that will not is the one where you settle down and raise children that will love you too much to allow someone to put you into one of these places.
Ironically, men who subscribe to the MGTOW ideology will inevitably be forced to live in retirement homes with the Tinderellas they despise, who likewise failed to build a loving family who would take care of them in old age. Even if these women have children, her kids tend to grow up to despise her and will not care for her in old age. So both types will end up in the same place, and if you think acquiring wealth will somehow prevent this outcome you are mistaken — elder abuse among attorneys and accountants of rich, lifelong bachelor men is a widespread problem to the point of being a cliché. These people will not love you and they will not protect you, as their only interest in you is your wealth; which you can be deprived of by someone spending an afternoon before a judge — and it won’t matter what your will says. With no one to vouch for you that loves you, that is what will happen to you if you do manage to become wealthy in your lifetime with no family to have a vested interest in the quality of your life.
So, abandon MGTOW. Do not be led astray by short-sighted, extremely unhappy men who are not considering the long term consequences of the lifestyle they champion and have never set foot inside a retirement home to see what future awaits them. Men who think “Estate plans” and wills — mere pieces of paper– can stop others from acquiring power of attorney over their affairs when they are old and deemed by a court to require a legal guardian. Spending an afternoon in a retirement center will show you what happens to men who fail to build a loving family that take care of them in old age.
Instead embrace the traditional values, etiquettes and habits that have allowed men to be happy for generations. These things worked for your ancestors and they will work for you, too. They are still what many women want– just not the ones you have been dating.
High quality women are still out there in the world, and you can date them. You can marry them, have families with them and live a very happy life with them. But you won’t be able to attract them if you don’t behave like a traditional masculine man. You also need to stop going on dates with Tinderellas, so learn to avoid dating one in the first place.
You can have the live you really want to have, but you’ll have to earn it. Your ancestors did it, and you can, too.